Oktoberfest: Day 3

Oktoberfest: Day 3

9/23/2024

Munich: Marienplatz & Theresienwiese

Beers Drank: at least five liters….

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I had set the alarm for 6:30am. Full disclosure I had woken up ready to hit the day running earlier than my alarm but after looking at my phone and realized it was 10:30pm last night. Jet lag, you pesky thing. Anywho, we lounged a bit without hitting snooze and wandered down to brek around 7am. This was a brek buffet fit for kings. Jake enjoyed himself two soft boiled eggs in a super fancy egg dish while I dug head first into cold cuts, cheese and bread with bread. German food speaks directly to my heart…and gut.

Jake enjoying his fancy egg

Again, my original plan was to have our Oktoberfest outfits purchased upon arrival but since Germany closes on Sunday we had to replan. Jake wanted and needed a haircut so we walked down the street to a barbershop.

Jake enjoying his fancy haircut

Once freshly cut and trimmed, we made our way back to train station to jump on the next Bayern to Munich. We made it just before the train doors closed. Running was involved. In our defense the regional trains only run every 40 minutes. The Bayern was already crowded with Oktoberfest goers. How could we tell? Just follow the lederhosen. We switched trains at Munich Hbf and headed towards Marienplatz. 

Glockenspiel

The Marienplatz station was right next to the Glockenspiel but we had some time before the noon show so we headed to a highly recommended store for our Oktoberfest garb. The store is split into a men’s side and women’s side so we made plans to meet back at the entrance once we obtained our wardrobe. The store was packed! And the very clearly American tourists (the reputation is not only true but very embarrassing) were wearing the store employees’ patience very thin by not following the very clear dressing room limits of three clothing items. This directly led to very long, very slow moving lines for the dressing rooms. I asked one of the employees what size she would guess I’d be. I found that size and a size above and below in the dirndl I liked and got in line. Once I finally made it to the dressing room, I tried the recommended size and it fit perfectly. Enough room to breathe and expand for….libations. Not too loose to fall off. No need to try the others. Out I was within five minutes. I handed the unneeded sizes to the appropriate rack and went to the counter to pay. 

I met Jake back outside and we made a quick pit stop in another store so he could get socks for his lederhose. (Lederhosen is plural). That in hand we made it back to the Glockenspiel just as the noon show started. 

Attempting to be smart, seasoned drinkers we headed to a close biergarten for food and to change. We had some traditional weisswurst which could’ve made angels sing. Well, I heard them at least. We took turns changing into our newly acquired outfits and pre-gamed Oktoberfest. Hindsight, that was an unwise choice.

Pregaming Oktoberfest…

Some more mistakes learning opportunities with the s-bauhn had us going in the wrong direction, twice, and resulted in a 2km walk to the Theresienwiese (Oktoberfest grounds). We had to check our backpack and headed in.

They call them tents, but these have to be permanent structures. Some are multiple levels. Some had traditional horse-drawn wagons out front. We headed to Paulaner first.

Paulaner “Tent”

Some background info for anyone curious or hasn’t been to Oktoberfest. First, to get served beer you must be at a table. No standing or going to a bar (cuz it doesn’t exist). Second, tables are either reserved (months in advanced for a pricey fee) or there are a select few non-reservable tables. These are where you make friends. Third, tents are cash only. I had forgotten to exchange money when we arrived and we were stuck without cash, which all the tents require for purchase. Oops. So after transferring funds we were able to get some euros from the ATM. The euro is strong, very strong, my friends. Ouch.

We started out as smart, veteran partiers by splitting our first liter of beer. It is a marathon, not a sprint, young padwans.

First Oktoberfest liter!

There is a tradition during a certain chant with a countdown. Each number called you remove a finger so you are left with a single finger holding the stein. Jake made it!

Next up, Lowenbrau. We headed up to the second floor (!) where the non-reservable tables were and made friends with some German boomers. One of the four spoke enough English to be able to find out his son studies in the US at some university and he had traveled to Colorado. The rest of the conversation was “Prost!” and “Noch ein bier!” (one more beer, priorities). We were joined by some Italians who spoke no English but again the common German phrases made us all bosom friends quickly. We had several rounds.

Beer may or may not have been on the lens when our German friends took the pic

Spatenbrau, you’re up to bat. We were feeling very, very good at this point. Our goal, make more friends and maybe find food. We checked our first goal off when we found a foursome of younger, university-aged bros at a reserved table who invited us to join. They spoke decent English but my drunken dumbass decided to speak Spanish instead, which one of them spoke as well. We were pacticing, that’s what I’m going with. I don’t recall food, but I do recall at least two more rounds and standing on tables. What? Everyone was standing on tables, it wasn’t the Des Moines Surf Shack, okay?

Before meeting the college bros in Spatenbrau

After that it gets rather hazy. Needing to use the restrooms and itchy to see more, we headed to the water closets. Well, turns out there are multiple exits and we ended up at different ones. I attempted to contact Jake but he had lost his phone, likely in the water closet. Being the smart, high-fuctioning drunk I am, I decided the best option was to head back to the hotel. There was no way I would find one particular bearded, white dude in lederhose among the thousands of bearded, white dudes in lederhosen. So I got our backpack and headed off in the direction of the train station. Looking back at the messages on my phone had the time at 7:30pm.

A few blocks away from the Theresienweise, a blonde very-Western European lady links arms with me and starts walking with me. My first thought is she is looking for another female to feel safe with while walking or possibly looking to escape a creep. Hey, girl, got your back. So we start chatting. I told her I was headed to the train station. She is chatting about her son and wanting to continue our conversation at her hotel room. Yes, I was drunk so the details of the conversation escape me but the gist I had was she wanted me to go with her back to her hotel room. I noticed she had directed us across a busy intersection when instead I needed to turn the corner to get to the train station. Some guttural instinct kicked in and tells me this is no longer safe. My mind is thinking I would either end up in an ice bath short an organ or two, or that it is possibly a sex trafficking plot. I remember asking her if she was safe at her hotel room, if she was afraid of anyone. She kept talking about her son. Her grip on my arm was rather firm and after a few soft, polite attempts to retrieve my arm I ended up yanking it out of her grip and heading back to the intersection. Once I returned to the busy intersection I spot a group of police. So I head to them directly and attempt to explain the woman and the situation. Being drunk, disorientated and now scared, I start to cry. So they put me in the back of the cop car and call in another agent? Something above a cop? Or just another one who speaks better English? So there I am, in the back of a German cop car, sobbing, attempting to tell this very nice guy in a very official looking uniform why I suspected this lady was a sex trafficking victim even though she didn’t say she was. I was told they can’t do anything about the situation since I didn’t have the lady’s name nor where she was heading. So they let me go and tell me to head back to my hotel.

Drunk and distraught, I hail a pedicab to take me to the train station. I probably looked a mess and not even a hot one at that. I make it onto the Bayern back to Augsburg and must’ve fallen asleep because someone shakes me awake when we get to Augsburg. I walk back to the hotel in the rain because at this point, why not. Back at the room, Jake is not there. My head was raging so I take my migraine medication, put my phone next to the bed with the volume on loud. I decide there isn’t much I can do at this point. If Jake isn’t back by morning I will panic then, but chances are he is on his was way back as well, hopefully.

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