Serenity

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I was taught this prayer years ago and never paid it much mind. Just another thing to memorize and recite when told to. Despite what you think, I am not going to talk about religion. Your religious or non-religious beliefs and values are none of my business. I have never and will never discuss religion online, ever. And before I continue, this is not an invitation to anyone else to discuss such a topic here.

So yes, I was taught this years ago. Forgot about it. Lived many, many years at the risk of aging myself…I just turned 30…for the sixth year in a row, thank you very much. This last year, Jake, Leinie and myself hiked the SHT. We were thrown a literal shitton few curveballs, to say the least, while doing the hike. Rain, check. Gear failure, check. Rain, check. Tramily drama, check. Did I mention rain?

Hiking itself is a challenge physically, mentally and emotionally. Long-distance hiking even more so. I am very much a Type A personality. I am a compulsive list maker. If your job had you complete the GiANT personality test, I am considered a guardian voice. Translation: I like achieving goals, I like when things make sense, and I like fixing problems. I can roll with punches but my idea of a good defense is a good offense. Blame the girl scout in me, but if you come prepared for anything, nothing should surprise you. When unexpected challenges present that aren’t fixable, my eyes twitch, hard. I can go with the flow, when I know where the flow is going and at what rate.

I can fix gear failure, to a point. I can ignore tramily drama, for so long. As much as I can prepare for the rain, after so long it’s just plain miserable. This trail wore me down to my breaking point, multiple times. Somewhere in the middle of the trail in the midst of a drastic change to our itinerary in lieu of some moderate injuries I was laying in our tent trying to focus on breathing and not the tears threatening to spill over. Suddenly, this prayer popped into my mind. So I said it a few times. 

Then I attempted to follow the advice it states. Some things I cannot change. I cannot change the weather. I cannot change a stranger’s attitude. I cannot change random chance gear failure. But I can accept it and keep moving forward. Some things I can change. My attitude, my itinerary, those I hike and camp near, when to call it quits. I also needed to practice knowing which belonged in which category. 

Did it magically make the trail completely enjoyable? No, of course not. With the mantra on repeat during an unexpected challenge though I was able to start having some more fun than I had before. There were still ragey trail tears through to the end, but on a whole, I was enjoying myself more and very likely a lot more enjoyable to be around. You’d have to ask Jake and Leinie about the second part though, I am rather biased.

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