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Sabbatical Year
Minnesota
Our heroine thinks back on Minnesota for a continuation of a Beer Enthusiast’s Roadmap to America.
Main Campaign: Minnesota
July-December
The land of lakes, loons and lumberjacks. The land has the feel of a kolsch.
Crisp. The crispness of the kolsch on my tongue feels just like the fall weather on my face. I am warm and cozy in my trustworthy flannel.
Refreshing. The taste brings a smile to my face. I think of the loon breaking the surface of the water right next to the boat. Their call is the first noise I hear in the morning from the cabin, alerting me to fish waiting in the lake.
Malty. The malty flavor is the liquid form of the rich, colorful leaves I see as I walk. Soon the leaves will fall as the colder weather of first winter approach, but at the moment the leaves are cheerful and bold.
There is a time and season for a kolsch, just as there is a time and season I enjoy most about Minnesota. Fall when the fish are still biting, the cabin on the lake is inviting, and leaves are at their full splendor. No insects are biting, the freezing cold hasn’t approached and my stein is ready for the festivities of the season.
A Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap To America
Montana
Our heroes continue their Beer Enthusiast’s Roadmap to America with Montana.
Main Campaign: Montana
5/26-28/2023
The landscape was something out of a wilderness magazine. You could feel the wild energy stepping on trail. All the animals you prepare for in North America were here; grizzly bear, black bear, wolf, moose, rattlesnakes, cougars. The weather could be unforgiving and then there’s the elevation. It asked you to challenge it.
CDT
With a surge in population, the culture was confusing, dizzying. Can’t have dog hair in food so no pets within 15 feet of eating establishments and no dogs on brewery patios. Breweries need to close by 8pm and serve no more than three drinks to anyone. Let’s party all night with loud music, loud motors, and shoot some shit. Don’t forget Bougie Bozeman.
It took us awhile to place a finger on why we didn’t enjoy Montana as we thought we would. Montana is wort, the unfermented form that has yet to decide on what it wants to be when it grows up. Will it be a strong barrel-aged stout or the gate-way cider, maybe a conformist IPA, who knows yet.
Montana is in the midst of an identity crisis, a teenager trying out everything to see where they fit. With the goths, jocks, or band geeks. While some can be true chameleons, Montana is not one of them. While some people may like to date young, give me a mature beer who knows what they offer. I love many beers and enjoy even more, but I tried wort once and I’ll take my beer fermented, thank you very much.
A Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap To America
Washington
The Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap to America continues through the PNW to Washington.
Main Campaign: Washington
5/12-24/2023
Washington felt like a wild-fermented beer. What in the hell is a wild-fermented beer you ask? It is a style of brewing that has the fermentation tank open to the environment. This allows the yeast in the surrounding environment to ferment the beer. It results in a slightly different beer each batch. In my opinion it’s gambling, you never know what you’ll get.
I do admit Washington had the unfortunate fate of following Oregon. Just like my brothers had to follow in the shadow of a legend (yours truly), the bar was unnaturally high. Washington had a rough stumble out of the starting gate. The coast was tough to like. Just like a beer brewed in the open, I ended up with at least one bug in my mouth and a cockamouse.
Moving toward the Puget Sound, you get a taste of the potential it could be with amazing views and nice neighborhoods, but then you get the skunk aftertaste of a street/tent-dweller’s boot.
I see you’re getting frustrated. Why would you drink a beer like this? At best it may be slightly over average, at worst you’re choking on bugs. Because, just like Jake’s game of roulette, you may hit green.
Tucked in a quiet corner as close to Canada as you could get, you get a taste of something wonderful. It has flavors you recognize, but never in this combination. Yes, it took three batches, but this batch blows the rest away. It’s basically perfect, the Bellinghamster Batch.
Just like a winning streak, it doesn’t last. The next batch was an attempt at a popular Bavarian style and fell short. No bugs, but shockingly a taste of wild mushrooms. But that’s how it goes with wild-fermented beer. Chaos, gambling, luck.
A Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap To America
Oregon Coast
The Oregon Coast is up next for our favorite mild buzzed rambling review.
Main Campaign: Oregon Coast
5/7-11/2023
Oregon wanted to woo us. At least, that is what I am telling myself. Bend, rainforests (?!), and then the coast. Oregon, are you even real?! That coast though. Maibock comes to mind and it makes me smile. Rich, malty, a hint of sweetness, some earthy undertones.
Mileage that could easily be completed in a day, my brother has done it traveling back to the Twin Cities on numerous occasions. It took us almost a week. We skipped no more than 50 miles each day. We stopped to walk along small town main streets, look at lighthouses, hike trails solely based on the name. The bike packers we passed could’ve easily lapped us had it been an oval.
The coast sang to us like a true Maibock. The locals were rich with stories, friendly to a fault. The food and drink, flavorful and savory. We tried so many chowders. The uncrowded beaches, every one of them Leinie-friendly were oh-so-sweet after the crowded, no-dogs-allowed SoCal beaches. Hikes through dense forests with names like Hobbit Trail had us searching for the Shire.
A coast that hits all my personal faves: beer, ice cream, classics. I gleefully drank at a long-term goal brewery. Ate my weight in cheese and ice cream at Tillamook. Shouted “Heeey you guys!” on Canon Beach and in Astoria. Again, I ask. Oregon, are you even real?!
A Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap To America
Bend
Another mildly buzzed love letter to our city crush, Bend.
Long Rest: Bend
4/27-5/4/2023
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Oh glorious Bend, our beloved brown ale. If someone took the northern woods of Minnesota and transplanted it in the PNW, added a few mountains for good measure, you’d end up with Bend. The nutty, earthy, rich brown pint that makes you want to throw on some flannel and smell some pine trees.
The brown of the bark and pinecones of the pine trees you can smell every time you walk outside. The condensed coniferous forest feels cozy and comfortable, like a big blanket to wrap yourself in.
The brown of the logs in the cabin-esque architecture. The homes that allow you to feel part of nature instead of imposed upon it. The cabin memories of wood stoves and saunas, wooden rocking chairs and moccasin-covered feet.
The brown of the dirt in the trails you hit each morning. The dirt nest a trail doggo makes to burrow into. The dirt you wash from your scrapes and cuts after taking a header over a bike. It is called eating dirt after all.
A week didn’t feel long enough, but we had to keep exploring. Who knew what other wonderful places there were to discover yet. A long drawn out goodbye as you savor the last sips of the delicious brown ale that will take a place among the favorites.
A Beer Enthusiast’s Roadmap To America
Idaho
The Beer Enthusiast’s Roadmap to America continues with a look at Idaho.
Main Campaign: Idaho
4/21-25/2023
Some states you can instantly feel the difference as you cross the border. The Utah-Idaho border was one of those. It could’ve been the sudden appearance of breweries and liquor stores, but who’s to say?
Farmland, real grass and … a lived-in feel to the towns. This was the welcome we received from Idaho. Walking around the first town, Jake nailed it when he said it felt like a larger Anoka. Ah, there it was. That feeling of lived-in? It was the mid-west planted squarely in The West.
Idaho, the All-American Lager.
Nothing screams a good, easy, sipping beer like the Clydesdale-driven, snow-peaked mountain, can opening bschhhh lager. The one you day drink while losing beloved discs to water hazards on the frolf course. The glass you enjoy at the bar while the old local regales you with tales from back in his day. The one you crush while having a bbq in the evening.
The lager that is comfortable because it’s familiar. However, we didn’t leave Minnesota for a re-defined midwest. So we enjoyed the cold can for what it was and moved onto the next pint to see what it tasted of.
A Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap To America
Utah
The second installment of the Beer Enthusiast’s Roadmap to America, Utah.
Main Campaign: Utah
4/12-20/2023
Oh, Utah. You left us dizzy in the mixed signals. The only way to describe you would be as a session IPA. We like the look, the taste feels refreshingly light, but when you look below the surface we’re stuck drinking more and more in the hopes of catching a buzz that will never come.
You are beautiful. Zion left us speechless and loving the wonderful outdoor activities. As we progressed north, the mountains sang to our souls. Despite the cold, snowpack-filled trails, and potential of rain, we sought more and more hiking and biking trails. The red sand and dust covered our shoes and toes and filled the submarine with a layer I don’t think will ever come clean.
But your beer policy is a mess. Our livers craved the sweet nectar of craft brewing but you’ve scared away all but the most fool-hardy of breweries. The thought of paying for a pack of cuddling hooker IPA’s left us disgusted so we dished out for the mainstream, cheapo PBR to ease our sorrows. Do better Utah, do better.
Like any true love-hate relationship, we needed to leave. So we left, but it won’t be forever. We will be back, like a love-sick angsty teen. Maybe we need the hit of the drug-like effect that your backcountry leaves on us. Or maybe we just like the torture of mixed messaging. Regardless, we will be back. This is only the start of a Taylor Swift-esque romance.
A Beer Enthusiast's Roadmap To America
Sedona
Mildly buzzed ramblings on the first city crush of our trip, Sedona.
Short Rest: Sedona
4/4-9/2023
Hit Die: 2d10
When Jake and I pulled into the Sedona area and saw the LA-esque mob of cars and people, we found out too late in the game that April is prime tourist season. Oops.
Sedona. The amber ale, obv. The cool, popular, super attractive kid in class that also is nice to everyone. I wanted to despise Sedona. I mean, we left the crowds, the lines, the traffic back in LA. I couldn’t, I was incapable of anything besides crushin’ so hard on Sedona. Despite the dispersed camping meant being five feet from your neighbor and driving to and from town every. single. day., and don’t get me started on the prices of some stuff.
Sedona was gorgeous, Leinie-friendly and had more trails within easy access of any part of town. And the fellow trail peeps that were five feet from us, super chill and cool people, if a bit weird. While some trails were very, very busy (devil’s bridge, I’m looking at you), others were so quiet I thought I had gotten off trail.
Trail doggo and his human in their natural habitat
It is also home to the absolutely coolest dog park I or Leinie have ever experienced. There were four sections all interaccessible. A small and a large normal-type areas and then two hiking/elevation areas for both sizes. Leinie loved it.
As the weekend approached, rumors spread of it getting even busier. Jake and I couldn’t find any place to shower and we were quickly running out of clean clothes. The choice was made for us to continue on after four days of crushin’ on the popular kid.
A Beer Enthusiast’s Roadmap to America
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For as much as we love the outdoors, we also love a good lazy Sunday.